Salam & hi lalings.
Lamanya me tak menulis. No new n interesting stuff to update. Itu pasal lama menyepi. Hehehe. Oh btw, ciks laling sume, sihat kah anda? Hope sume sihat2.
Takde update menarik. Just ingin meluahkan perasaan dan terasa ingin sgt menulis.
Confuse.. Yes, rasa sgt2 confuse. dan rasa sgt lost. Just got home from a long and unexpected discussion anyway. Suddenly tercakap pasal marriage n seangkatan dengannya.
Emm.. for me, nak kawen ni kene la ready. just like my fb status mlm td.. ready phsyically, mentally, rohanily, and duitly. itu yg aku rasa.
Yes. thats what i think. Tapi bile org tnya aku, how would you define you're ready for a marriage? aku sdri pon x bape nk leh jwb.. cuma yg aku tau, aku tak ready. mentally.
Mungkin disebabkan my own experiences, my surrounding, from what i have experienced, i have heard, i have seen.. thats membuatkan myself tak ready mentally.
Melalui tu sume, aku tend to negative thinking. and i worried more than i shud. i worried that what i have experienced, what i've seen & heard might also happen to me.
I just cant help myself to think positive. Senang kata, aku takut. Aku tak nak face marriage. And without me knowing, ade hati yang terasa, terluka sbb aku.
Im in the state of denial. Aku sdri yg xleh terima benda positif. so aku jd takut. takut nk face. aku tak tau samade aku sorg je ke kt dunia ni face benda ni..or ade lg golongan2 minoriti yg mcm aku ni..kalo aku sorg je cani, hmmm... mcm cacatnye rasa. wahahahaha.
Emm.. oke, mata dah ngantok. tapi otak n minda x ngantok agy..ligat lagi berfikir. aku pon xtau die pk ape.. mungkin aku xleh time opinion kawan aku time ktorg berdiskusi td kot. hmmmm. aku kepala batu! grr.
Mata da berat. gotta sleep. esok ade presentation. and ade nk kene lead program. hmmm. berat mata memandang, berat lg otak dan minda dan hati memikul....
Ya Allah, permudahkanlah segalanya bg ku. Assalamualaikum & selamat malam.
when the goings get TOUGH, only the TOUGH gets going!
